Few life lessons I learned as I live abroad alone
Remember that feeling when we were kids that when we see our siblings play with our toy that when rarely with yet the moment we saw it, we immediately want it back.
Another example, when you got those clothes you don’t wear almost a year then, you see your sibling wearing it and it made you mad? It’s pretty usual as human beings — we often didn’t realize or forgot what we have until it’s gone.
As I left home around 8 years ago — I assume things I had at home would be the same when I moved out and boy, I was wrong. Throughout those 8 years, I continuously learn the ropes of living independently from housing, housemates, making friends to saving money.
Here are a few things I’ve learned that I wish I knew sooner:
1. Housing
- Importance to have a good relationship with your landlord.
Think as you temporarily own the place. After you signed the contract, it doesn’t mean you are going to see your landlord again only when you are about to leave. When you reside in their house/condo, it means you are also responsible for taking care of the house. What I’ve learned: Keep communication going on things need to be repaired or you’ve repaired or else all of these wills came out of your deposit payments (either way, you need to pay them either you pay upfront or they’ll reduce your deposit). - Bills aren’t going to be paid automatically.
Truth to be told, I have never seen how an electricity bill looks like when I was at home. My mom is the one who always settled for our family. What I’ve learned: You can check and paid your electricity bill through the electricity company bill app.
2. Housemate
- When it comes to housemates, they could turn into your extended siblings or your long-distance cousins.
When you clicked with housemates, it can be as amazing as having extra siblings meaning even after you don’t stay in 1 place with them you still keep in contact or meeting them regularly, or sometimes, you just don’t get along with them and after all of you not staying together, you might see them randomly on the street or bumped them on a grocery run like your long-distance cousins when you meet them during holiday family gathering once a year. What I’ve learned: Your housemate can turn into your extended family when you are abroad but that’s not all the case all the time, sometimes you can also meet people that you don’t click with and it’s okay if it doesn’t look like the f.r.i.e.n.d.s sitcom.
3. Making Friends
- Make your the first move isn’t always bad.
Growing up, I was a very shy person. I would always stay beside my mother whenever there is a huge family gathering, I won’t be the one who starts the conversation. Moving abroad teach me the importance of making the first move to make friends. When I first move abroad, I literally know no one. Now, when I think back — most of my friends today, I made the first move. Making the first move doesn’t mean you greet random people on the street. You can start with your uni friends or colleagues. What I’ve learned: Ask something that interests the other person and start to get to know them. If you see someone always bought coffee in the morning, ask which place they think the best place to buy coffee. If you see you’ve read something the other person is reading, ask which part of the book is their favorite.
- Join the local community that you enjoy such as sports or volunteering.
My mother always mentioned this growing up and I don’t understand why I would join a community where I don’t know anyone at all. To be honest, joining a community is one of the fastest ways to make connections and friends. In 2016, I joined a running community which consisted of people from various background and age group — some of them are working as architect, bankers, marketing even dentist. Although within this group, we came from different backgrounds, which makes it easy to make friends with them is because we all enjoy 1 similar thing, it was running. What I’ve learned: As long you have 1 thing in common to discuss, it’s a little bit easier to make friends because you always had that 1 topic to fall back into when you don’t know anything else to discuss.
I thought living abroad alone would be scary and cold, well it is challenging but it still one of the best experiences I encountered so far. I learned so much about things that we take granted when we live at home for such as housing, housemates even making new friends.
I’ve always encouraged people to at least try once to leave outside your home. Try to live alone as you’ll learn new things about yourself also things most probably you didn’t realize that these little things take effort and time when you live at home with your family.
Hope little thoughts of mine helps!